What The Anxiety Is REALLY About

I have been emailing to the people on my list (you can join above) and been blogging here for a number of years.

The writing is a result of my commitment to finding a way out of
anxiety and self-consciousness for myself and for anyone else who
struggles with this issue.

So now I am going to prepare you, I am shifting gears a little bit.

The emails are about to get a little more edgy.

A little stronger.

A little more outspoken.

I'm going to tell you what I really think.

For I feel a sense of urgency.

There is no more time to wait around.

There is no point in avoiding the issues.

It is time to look at things straight on.

So I invite you to keep on this journey with me and I will do my
best to speak as honestly as possible with you and to do what I can
to help you to build your self-confidence and transcend your
self-consciousness.

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This Is What It Seems Like
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After years of struggling with - and seeking out solutions for -
self-confidence and social anxiety, this is what I am coming to
believe:

I believe that, if you are reading this email, you are being called
out of a "normal" daily life.

I believe that you do not have the luxury of living a "normal" (or
perhaps unconscious) life, as many others do.

You cannot keep going without looking deeper into your reality,
without questioning the structures within which you, and those
around you, live. For the anxiety will not let you.

If you are reading this email I believe you are being called to
speak your truth. (and you may sense that others will not like it)

I believe that if you are struggling with social anxiety, you are
being called to express the yearnings of your heart.

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But It's No Vacation
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While expressing the yearnings of your heart may sound like it's
all about shimmering light and brightness and beauty, it is
actually a brutal path.

It is a brutal path for 2 main reasons.

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#1
------

The path is brutal because you have lots and lots of layers of
darkness and negativity, fear and lack, inside of you - to confront
and face.

It is something I think we all have to realize - that we each have
this darkness inside of ourselves, because it is just part of being
human on this planet. Just as the earth has its sun and its moon,
its day and its night, we humans have our darkness and negativity.

But it is something we all reject in ourselves - on a global basis,
all around the world - no matter how common it may be in us.

And besides, the negative stuff has a real purpose.

As you were growing up, you figured out pretty quickly that the
most beautiful ideas, feelings, desires and wishes you had within
yourself were bad or wrong, as they caused negative reactions when
you expressed them to others.

It was smart. Why would you want to look bad? Or upset or challenge
other people?

You wanted to be good, so you hid some beautiful, bright thoughts
and feelings within yourself because they seemed bad.

You have kept them safely hidden, where no one could see them. And
where they would never be expressed again.

Only the problem now is that you seem to no longer be able to deny
these genuine desires.

Because the dark beliefs are not staying neatly fixed beneath the
pretty surface that you want to show the world. They are beginning
to mess up your daily life and interactions with the people around
you.

Indeed your beauty inside is wanting to burst out - even though
your anxiety might seem like an extremely negative experience you
want to suppress, avoid or get rid of.

But it may indeed be a sign that you need to confront all of the
darkness covering up your deepest desires and goodness.

And...

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#2
------

The path of expressing your yearnings is also brutal because the
yearnings in your heart ARE bad. (in the eyes of some people)

The things you sincerely want and believe and desire probably DO
look bad to many people around you, to the culture you live in or
to what you have been taught to believe is right and wrong.

And that is why it is so hard to be honest about what you really
think.

You do not really trust yourself because you have learned to cover
up what you really believe and cut yourself off from what you
really want.

But do you want to know the ironic thing??

You are one of the lucky ones!!! (even if it doesn't feel like it
right now)

You are lucky because your self-consciousness and anxiety is not
letting you avoid facing these things inside of yourself that
others can easily ignore.

So this is what I have personally come to believe, after lots of
hard work and study, lots of questioning, experimenting and trying.

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What do you believe???
How do you feel reading this?
If you are feeling moved to share something, I would love to hear
from you over email. Or you can post a comment here on the blog.
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Also, if you want to explore and integrate these ideas further,
then here are some questions to help you along:
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What subjects do you avoid talking about? With friends? Or family?

What is your truth about these things you don't like talking about?

What values or ideas are most important in your family? What is
considered the truth about how you should live? What does it mean
to be a good person? What makes a really person successful?

And do you agree with what you have been taught? Or how do you
disagree and what are some of the thoughts you have about what's
important and how to define things in life?

Wishing you the best,
Sarah

Comments

[gayathri]

hi, Sara, I spoke to u long time ago from AUS.

Lot of things / reasons make me anxious, I need a day to pour out ! one day I will start .

Thanks for your your news letter.

keep safe / peace/ healthy

gayathri

[Sarah]

Hi Gayathri,
I hope you are well -- I look forward to the day when you pour out!!!!
You are welcome for everything.
And you stay safe and well too, dear one!!
Sarah