The muscle of not trying

If you struggle with anxiety or fear or self-doubt when you’re speaking to people, you will want to read this post and listen to both the audio and the video clips.

They’re about a shift. A shift that will change your experience.

It has changed mine. And that of hundreds, if not thousands, of other people.

But it’s sort of something you have to experience for yourself to really ‘get’.

You can begin to experience it for yourself by listening to this audio clip and following along with the exercise.http://www.sarahmalik.com/exercise.mp3

So what’s the shift?

The shift is that you can be with people without having to prepare. Without having to ground yourself. Without having to center yourself.

Without really trying to do anything.

The shift is that you can feel fear inside of you. You can feel your stomach buzzing. You can feel your legs shaking.

You can worry or wonder.

But you can move into relationship with each person you interact with.

You can be present to the space, energy, interaction and being or presence of another person.

Without trying to change anything.

It’s like a muscle, though. It’s a muscle of not trying. A muscle of not efforting.

How funny!

It’s a ‘being there’ muscle, an ability to be present to yourself and other people.

It sounds funny, I know!

And yet it’s one of the most powerful things I’ve learned in my own quest for confidence.

And I’ve noticed that it’s the ironic, un-doing of our coping mechanisms, our social skills, our layers of façade and self-protection that begins to open the door to an authentic, solid, inner confidence. A presence.

I learned this stuff from Lee Glickstein, who has been showing people a pathway to authentic public speaking for years. He’s got a great video up on YouTube. Watch it here:

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Also –

Do you have a webcam?

If you do, would you be interested in taking a free 1-hour training about melting away the fear of public speaking?

Please email me if you are interested. sarah @t sarahmalik.com

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Comments

[HappyHH]

Interseting concept indeed! I read a lot about the subject but this's the first time I read about simply being there and not trying. Sometimes the challenging part is to push ourselves to be there to start with.
I'd been there. Just the thought of spakeing in public made me shake inside but using the power of imagination, I was able to conquer that fear. You can read about it in detail in my article:http://unstoppablepassion.blogspot.com/2008/02/just-imagine.html

I've been fighting a raging war within myself for years now... just trying to figure out what's right for me. Today, I was feeling especially down but I stumbled across your site. I just wanted to say thank you. :)
Sometimes people can overlook how important it is to reflect introspectively. And when in doubt, even silly things like your audio exercise, can be the biggest help of all.

[Ruth]

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my

first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I

will keep visiting this blog very often.

Ruth

http://www.infrared-sauna-spot.info