Re-defining, another version of, self-esteem

In yesterday's post I wrote about how wanting to express yourself is the sister desire to wanting to experience a positive sense of Self. A sense that you, your Self, are valuable. Or esteemable.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the noun form of esteem as the regard in which one is held. And the verb form as to consider or to set a high value on.

I'd like to offer up a definition for self-esteem that I am developing. It is designed to help facilitate a kind of self-esteem not just from a mental, logical, western point of view, the I-think-therefore-I-am approach. But also from a rich, body-centered, grounded, yet soulful and spiritual and inspirational perspective.

Here's a bit more about what I mean when I say a limited, western, head-centered point of view.

Here is a quote from Mark Silver. He is a Sufi and a small business teacher. He says: "The problem with 'valuing yourself.'"

"The real problem here is that you are on trial. 'Value' is a judgment. Whether someone says you are bad or someone else says you are good, it's still a judgment. Judgment never feels good to the heart, even if it's going your way, because it inherently diminishes you."

I am beginning to believe that a sense of value blossoms naturally inside of you when you express sincerely what you want to express. And when others are available to sincerely receive and appreciate your expressions.

So here's a definition of self-esteem that I am working on.

Whole Being Self-Esteem = Having your soul, spirit, purpose, vision, sincere desire, highest wishes (use what words resonate for you), having those things 'animate' your body and brain, drive your words and actions, be the basis for how you live and for what you do.

Having those things make up the content of your decisions, the direction of your life. Have them be what informs your daily, tiny or practical actions and choices. As opposed to old beliefs and information you no longer want to live by, but that make up your habits, developed without your awareness as you've moved through life. Taken in from people around you and in an effort to protect yourself. Now you are beginning to know you have more options.

Your body, mind and brain can develop the power to act and live and express according to your brightest desires and hidden hopes.

Comments

[ace]

What is Self? Before defining self confidence or self esteem can you tell us what self is?

[Sarah Malik]

ooohhh! What is Self? Such an awesome question! And well, there are a bunch of ways I can think of to answer that question.

We have many ways to define our Selves. No? But to even do that, we first we have to realize that we have an individual self. We have selves. And perhaps I'm saying the more we are aware of this, the less we operate as victims. We have bodies and brains making meaning of what's going on around us and inside of us. And we can live our individuality rather than the life we do out of habit or unconsciousness or politeness.

We are not little clones of our parents. We are not mini-me's destined to carry out our culture.

Because we have a physical self. We each have our own bodies. We each have our own biological presences. That is a beginning!

What other Selves do we each have????

[ace]

So you say we have a physical\biological self. To that may I add we have a social self. Next is for you. You state we have an "unconsciousness" ;in what self does that reside?

[Sarah Malik]

Ace, I'm going to write a post about Selves. So for now, I'll respond to your question about where does unconsciousness reside.

Well, unconsciousness may not be a thing at all. Or at least not something you can see with your eye. Maybe it's just a description of something. Maybe it is something you may not be consciously aware of, something you may not have articulated but you totally act according to it. It may be something you decided many years ago. Without realizing it.

Where does it reside? Probably on different levels. Don't you think? Perhaps partly contained in your physical brain structure. Perhaps in parts of our body. Perhaps on some other plane of existence or on a soul level. Perhaps parts reside in the mind, but where scientists cannot see them to point to them. But you can experience them just the same.

This is feeling a little ungrounded to me. Because a lot of it is invisible. Right? We are humans and we cannot see other's minds. We can experience the products of our own mind. But it is invisible to others. Scientists can observe your brain activity but cannot know what you are thinking. Only you know that. You experience your mind.

My original intention was to begin exploring Self. But Self as sort of simple. Like just sitting here. Feeling. Breathing. Experiencing. That: I am okay. This small, powerful, inner sense of, yes, I can be peaceful as me in the world. I can express myself. And know I am okay. Questioning, exploring whether/how each person can find that for themselves -- no matter what expectations or judgments they face from others (or themselves).

Ace, I am grateful for your comments. They help me to figure out what I'm wanting to say and what you as the reader are thinking. So I will post soon about Selves. One thing I was reading today talked about Self as an ever-going process. A process. Well, I have lots of ways of looking at it.

But isn't it exciting? To know you have a 'you'. And You can do and think what you want???? This has been a great revelation to me. It sounds simple or stupid, and yet I am still waking up to the realization that I have a choice. That I can do what I want!!!