Living life with no regrets

It is sort of cliche to do the exercise: Imagine yourself at the end of your life. What are the things that are the most important to you? What things are you the most happy about having done? What things do you wish you had done, but now regret that you didn't?

Now take those answers and make sure that you do them!

Have you ever sat down to do this exercise before?

I can remember doing it a few times. Actually I don’t even remember what my answers were. But answering the question never really seemed to change my life or to change the way that I acted or the things that I’d do with my time everyday.

Maybe it was because I had trouble relating to me at the end of my life – life in the today was enough of a struggle! It was hard for me to feel grateful for life itself or to feel the preciousness of my time – except for maybe a few fleeting moments – before my current reality would set in again and the idea of getting in touch with my mortality in order to live today for everything it’s worth would float away, into the background.

But recently I had a new insight on this question of what to do so that we have no regrets, so that we fulfill our purpose for our time on this planet, so that we can be in touch with what is precious to us.

Last Monday my yoga teacher was telling me a story about a woman she once helped. It was when my yoga teacher was in college and she volunteered her time to care for terminally ill patients.

And one of her patients, she said, told her something she would never forget. This woman had such severe arthritis that she could no longer move around well. And she said, one day, to my teacher something to the effect of, “If only I’d known, I would have spent less time washing dishes and more time playing with my grandkids.”

A special sacred message
As I’ve spent a week reflecting on this story from my teacher and on the wisdom this woman shared with her and that she had now shared with me, it now feels like a special, sacred message has been passed down to me that I must share with others – that her words and her lessons be not in vain. So I am sharing some ideas with you here. I’ve realized that there is another approach to take to the question of what will you wish you had done at the end of your life?

For some reason, I’d always thought that answer would be a big goal, some significant achievement, a contribution to mankind or the community or a pinnacle career achievement. But really, the perfect, true, genuine answer might be something as simple as call my mom everyday and spend just one minute opening my heart to her and really saying ‘Mom, I really love you’. Without any other distractions or agenda. Sitting, savoring the interchange of energy. Perhaps the shyness of showing my heart. Perhaps the tears she might get when faced with the strength of my openness. Not too common in our family interactions.

It seems like it could be the smallest thing, done with complete devotion, if only for a minute.

Any small thing
It could mean doing any small thing that is truly meaningful to you.

What small, small things are the most significant and meaningful to you?

Or what one thing do you want to do today that you don’t want to let another day slip by before you do it?

What simple act or gesture would you like to make that might be with an openness one degree past your normal, everyday habit or comfortable level?

Here are some of the lyrics from one of my favorite songs Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield -

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

No one else can feel inside of you for you and no one else can speak the words on your lips – and offer what you have to share and give to others. Small or big. Quiet or loud.

Not just the doing
Actually, it seems like it is the quality of our presence, the fullness of our attention, the size of our emotional surrender and openness that correlates to how special an experience is. Mother Theresa once said: “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.”

Do something with great love. Perhaps it is the amount of love we are able to give in our small acts that makes them so meaningful to us.

It is the love that makes things great.

© 2007 Sarah Malik.
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Comments

[Anxiety 2 Calm]

Hi, I think this is a really great blog about confidence. I am particularly interested in the relationship between acting confident and feeling confident. Certainly walking tall can make you feel confident, but how far does that go? For readers of my site that have anxiety I recommend researching body language styles, to see if their environment will reflect the condience they show. Seems to work!

[Lorraine Roach]

I enjoyed your blog and it made me think that life is precious and that we do sometimes lose sight of that. I had a heart attack last August and I was only 51 years old. The last of 6 children had left home in June and she even took the cat. It was a shock to my system to have the last child leave and I thought I would never be an empty nest sufferer. Along with a medical withdrawl from prescribed morphine patches and 37 days of severe withdrawl symptoms I did not realize that I was adding a dangerous mix together along with chronic pain syndrome from arthritis. Anxiety was certainly a part of my life and I am now talking to people and helping them hopefully with the articles I write and give them the benefit of the programs etc. I have tried. I could go on and on but that is the way I am in life....very chatty. I also like the song you had the words for. I sing all the time and people have said they wish I was on the radio so they could turn me off. I take that with humor and find humor helps me.
Thankyou for having a place to leave a comment . It was good to reach out.
Lorraine Roach
www.anxietyended.com/blog

[rofovnifo]

Hello

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G'night

[tolikimer]

Hello

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G'night

[FionaV]

I admire your confidence and approach to life greatly. It's so easy to forget to appreciate the little things in the great hurly burly of everyday life, constantly running from one activity to the next!

Many thanks for your blog - it's an inspiration.

Fiona
http://www.confidentwoman.org.uk

[Steven Harold Hypnotherapist]

Hi
Great tips for better esteem and confidence. I believe we gain confidence by meeting are fears head on and finding we are bigger than them.

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