Do you know that there is no given way of being human? (no matter what cultural rules will have you think. someone, at some point, made it up!!! I just really got this at my recent training with Michael Hall.)
There is no given definition of what it means to be human. We must *learn* how to be human.
We are not just born 'human'. How do we know this? Children who grow up in the wild, in nature, with animals, behave quite differently than children who are raised in human culture. They are called feral children. They do not know how to speak. They may not walk upright, on two feet. And they usually do not live past their teen years.
In a bizarre way, what we know about feral children illustrates the idea that we are not born fully human, not knowing automatically how to be human. But that our DNA contain contains our potential to become fully human.
So what does all of this mean for us seeking self confidence, feeling anxiety about socializing or speaking and wanting to shed our shyness?
It means that we learned our lack of self confidence at some point. It was not predetermined in our DNA. We learned to feel a certain way about ourselves. From how our environment and our mind and body interacted together. It was a creation process.
Yes, our minds and our bodies did the creating. And yes, there are definite genetic aspects to who we are. But still you would be quite a different person, given the same genetics, if you were raised by animals.
Really the only point I'm trying to make right now is that we learn by interacting with our environment what it is to be us. It is not given at birth. We take in information from around us and weave it together inside of us. And then we call it reality. It is really only our reality.
What do you think about all of this? Does this free you up at all from some inner shame and blame?
Does this make you wonder who really knows the 'correct' way of acting socially? The correct way to act professional? To give a presentation?
Is there a correct way?
Who is the creator, controller and enforcer of these rules?
Maybe we think there is a set of rules, but we're each walking around with a different set inside of our minds that we learned growing up?
Remember this the next time you want to speak up and you stop, thinking that you just don't know the right thing to say.
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